Speed This

Ditzy girl, talking about the Olympic speedskaters: “Why do I hate Koreans so much? I think I’m racist.”

- Daxson

Gingerbread

My English Professor. You guys have to try this gingerbread. It is really good. I mean if you took this to a ward dinner everyone would ask you for the recipe good.

- Clark

Bite You

Guy talking on the phone, explaining what he would do if his friend didn’t tell him about his date: “I will put something in your water that will make you grow warts that will grow into monsters and bite you.”

- Jacob