Archive for April 7th, 2010
Guy 1: "Hey man! How's the married life?" Guy 2: "Good! How's the dating life?" Guy 1: "Uh.. Sucky!"[ READ MORE ]
Guy 1: "I've had so many people tell me that I still have my missionary face."Guy 2: "Yeah, I still have my missionary face too, but people don't say it as much."What the heck is a missionary face? I felt so lost[ READ MORE ]
Religion professor talking about finals: "You know why they don't have religion tests in the testing center? it's because Satan lives there!"[ READ MORE ]
Trumpet Player: Oh I forgot my mute.Trumpet Teacher: Does a plummer forget his wrench?Other Trumpet Player: Maybe, but he usually forgets his belt[ READ MORE ]
Girl 1: Guess who was there. Just guess.Girl 2: Um...Hot Guy?Girl 1: No. It was (so-and-so's) brother.Girl 2: But that is Hot Guy.Girl 1: No, I'm talking about the one that you stalk[ READ MORE ]
While my friend is threatening my other friendMe: You should probably use that book to studyMy friend: It's more useful for killing people[ READ MORE ]
Teacher: "How could we improve this vegetarian female's diet, keep in mind she is concerned with fat and calories."Students: "She doesn't get enough calcium, she needs dairy products. Maybe some milk?"Other guy: "She could eat breakfast cereal with skim milk."Teacher: "Skim milk tastes like water. She won't drink i[ READ MORE ]
Awesome conversation I had with a friend on Facebook chat:Him: What are you doing!?! Get back to work!Me: I am working!Him: HA! I caught YOU!! You're not working! you're on FACEBOOK!Me: I always have Facebook up, even when I am workingHim: so it's like your oxygen tank[ READ MORE ]
at the library: don't look at me as democrat man! look at me as your friend![ READ MORE ]
