Archive for March 3rd, 2010

F.U.D

student: "Didn't we pay for that swirly building for the RLDS church?"
Bro. Brooks: "Yeah. That's why I carve my initials in it every time I go there..."

- Briana Carr[ READ MORE ]

Ba Dum Ching

"I took a test on communism today."
"Did everyone get the same score?"

- Jesslyn Ann Poulson[ READ MORE ]

Squoze

Guy 1: (to a random guy in the bookstore) Are you from Utah, born and raised?
Guy 2: Yeah
Guy 1: What do you say is the past tense for squeeze?
Guy 2: Squoze.

- Jesslyn Ann Poulson[ READ MORE ]

Pi-pi-pi-Pizza

A mom singing outside the Wilk: Pep-Pep-Pepper-OOOOO-ni!

- Alana Howlett[ READ MORE ]

Epic

After leaving an apt full of ppl and 3 mission call openings...
"THAT WAS EPIC! Who needs drugs when you can open mission calls all night!"

- Daylin B Farias [ READ MORE ]

Celestial Virtues

Girl comparing two guys she likes: "Well guy 1 is so sweet and he opened the door for me and paid for me and he's just so nice....but guy 2 smells better..."

- Sydney Mildenhall[ READ MORE ]

My Funk

Henry: I hadn't had the opportunity for several days, given my current condition - and excuse me, ladies, for so saying - but I hadn't had the opportunity to bathe myself.

- Joel Thunborg[ READ MORE ]

Haunt Me

Religion Professor: "If I die and you cry over me...I will come back and haunt you..."

"Just to be sexy, I'll put 50%"

- Haley Beaudin[ READ MORE ]

Depends

In the cannon center: Secretary: What's your name?
Guy: __________
Secretary: Do you have a brother named Mike???
Guy thinks about it for a bit and responds: Well... Where does he live?

- Brad Doll[ READ MORE ]

Dead Bird

Professor summarizing the feelings of one of the characters in our reading: "The woman I love just mailed me a dead bird! I know what this means!"

- Jackie Saumweber[ READ MORE ]

Overheard In The Ward